Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions.
The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.
Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"
Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!
many thanks to HPR Gunawardana
February 25, 2010
Hell is better than heaven
An old lady dies and goes to heaven.
She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.
Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.'
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.
'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'
'Not to worry,' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'
'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'
'You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter. 'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'
'Maybe so,' says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that
She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.
Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.'
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.
'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'
'Not to worry,' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'
'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'
'You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter. 'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'
'Maybe so,' says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that
February 13, 2010
February 11, 2010
Sri Lanka's economy will grow 5.5 percent in 2010
COLOMBO, Feb 10 (Reuters) - Sri Lanka's economy will grow 5.5 percent in 2010 due to improving domestic demand and potential export growth after the 25-year war ended in 2009 and as global recovery takes hold, the IMF said on Wednesday.
However, the International Monetary Fund said there were concerns about the country's fiscal deficit which needed to be addressed.
The $40 billion economy, which was hit by a balance of payment crisis early last year, has already received two tranches of a $2.6 billion IMF loan and the third is due soon.
"We continue to see growth around 5.5 percent in 2010," Koshy Mathai, the IMF director for Sri Lanka, told Reuters in an interview. "The global environment is still not very strong as recovery is slow. On that basis 5.5 percent is a good number."
http://in.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idINSGE6170JW20100210?rpc=401&feedType=RSS&feedName=domesticNews&rpc=401&sp=true
However, the International Monetary Fund said there were concerns about the country's fiscal deficit which needed to be addressed.
The $40 billion economy, which was hit by a balance of payment crisis early last year, has already received two tranches of a $2.6 billion IMF loan and the third is due soon.
"We continue to see growth around 5.5 percent in 2010," Koshy Mathai, the IMF director for Sri Lanka, told Reuters in an interview. "The global environment is still not very strong as recovery is slow. On that basis 5.5 percent is a good number."
http://in.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idINSGE6170JW20100210?rpc=401&feedType=RSS&feedName=domesticNews&rpc=401&sp=true
February 10, 2010
He was challenging the government to arrest him
Retired General Sarath Fonseka is one of those tragic Shakesperean heroes who is doomed to dig his own grave through a fatal flaw in his character. In short, he was virtually asking for what he got last night. He was challenging the government to arrest him if they have any charges against him and when the Military Police went to arrest him he resisted. He had to be dragged out initially though he walked the last steps to the van in which he was taken to quarters at Sri Lankan Navy.
The irony is that Fonseka who was challenging the government to arrest him was reluctant to walk out like a gentlemen and an officer to face his accusers. This is typical of Fonseka. He should have honoured his own words and, knowing the law, cooperated with the Military Police as there was no point in resisting arrest. He may have been ...........
Read more...
http://www.defence.lk/new.asp?fname=20100210_05
The irony is that Fonseka who was challenging the government to arrest him was reluctant to walk out like a gentlemen and an officer to face his accusers. This is typical of Fonseka. He should have honoured his own words and, knowing the law, cooperated with the Military Police as there was no point in resisting arrest. He may have been ...........
Read more...
http://www.defence.lk/new.asp?fname=20100210_05
February 8, 2010
February 1, 2010
January 31, 2010
January 29, 2010
January 27, 2010
Sarath Fonseka accepts he has no vote
Tue, 2010-01-26 17:52 — editor
News
Colombo, 26 January, (Asiantribune.com): Retired General Sarath Fonseka did not cast his vote in today’s Presidential Election, where he was a candidate.
He had publicly acknowledged that he did not have a vote in the electoral register.
The law of the land is very clear that to contest in any elections, one should have a vote.
Now the question is being raised whether his candidature could be acceptable in the eyes of law.
It is now left to the Election Commission or the Supreme Court to decide on this issue.
- Asian Tribune -http://http://www.asiantribune.com/news/2010/01/26
News
Colombo, 26 January, (Asiantribune.com): Retired General Sarath Fonseka did not cast his vote in today’s Presidential Election, where he was a candidate.
He had publicly acknowledged that he did not have a vote in the electoral register.
The law of the land is very clear that to contest in any elections, one should have a vote.
Now the question is being raised whether his candidature could be acceptable in the eyes of law.
It is now left to the Election Commission or the Supreme Court to decide on this issue.
- Asian Tribune -http://http://www.asiantribune.com/news/2010/01/26
Danuna Tilakaratne, the arms dealer son-in-law, arms supplier to LTTE
By K T Rajasingham
Colombo, 26 January, (Asiantribune.com):
The other face of Danuna Tilakaratne, the arms dealer son-in-law of the former Army Commander Sarath Fonseka has emerged.
An influential Tamil diaspora group’s spokesperson who wishes to remain anonymous, for fear of reprisal, when contacted, said that in the beginning of 2008 LTTE has successfully established contact with Danuna Tilakaratne at Oklahoma and through him the LTTE was able to arrange the purchase of sophisticated lethal weapons, and ammunitions to fight the Sri Lankan armed forces.
The Tamil diaspora’s group spokesperson said that Danuna Tilakaratne quoted 15% over and above the price of the weapons and other military hardware he arranged for purchase by the LTTE through his contacts in Pakistan, China and from a former Soviet country.
As Danuna Tilakaratne was a recognized Sri Lankan Army’s arms dealer, he did not find any problem in arranging the purchase of arms for the LTTE.
Asian Tribune learnt that he possessed letters of accreditation from the Sri Lanka Army stating that he was the accredited agent of the army. That accreditation provided by his father-in-law Army Commander was the required passport for him to purchase arms through his Pakistani middlemen.
It is learnt some of those ships that were bringing the military hardware to the LTTE were owned by the terrorists outfit LTTE, and there was no problem for the lethal cargoes to be delivered in the mid-sea to the LTTE. In the mid-sea LTTE managed to unload them to their boats and safely brought them to Chalai and other safe places.
He said that on two occasions the ships that brought the military hardware had to be reloaded in to the LTTE ships in the international waters.
The Diaspora spokesperson told Asian Tribune that it was the rump LTTE in the West that instructed TNA leader R.Sampanthan and others to openly declare the support to Sarath Fonseka in the Presidential election.
Also it is learnt that the rump LTTE group based in USA has also funded election campaign of Sarath Fonseka.
It was the biggest irony that Sarath Fonseka, who claims that he was responsible for freeing the country from the LTTE menace, is now is in the hands of the very LTTErs and working according to their program to defeat Mahinda Rajapaksa who was responsible for the successful humanitarian operation to free the country from the three decades of the LTTE terror in this country.
Danuna Tilakaratne, who has already seen millions of dollars by the sales of lethal military cargoes, has become addicted to those money he was able amass, and it is learnt that many other terrorists organizations are also in touch with him for acquiring military weapons for their war against established and sovereign governments.
It was unfortunate that Sri Lanka police has so far not come forward to inquire Danuna Tilakaratne regarding his arms dealing.
It is learnt that there was a plan for Danuna Tilakaratne flee the country no sooner the elections results are known......
(Asiantribune.com):
Colombo, 26 January, (Asiantribune.com):
The other face of Danuna Tilakaratne, the arms dealer son-in-law of the former Army Commander Sarath Fonseka has emerged.
An influential Tamil diaspora group’s spokesperson who wishes to remain anonymous, for fear of reprisal, when contacted, said that in the beginning of 2008 LTTE has successfully established contact with Danuna Tilakaratne at Oklahoma and through him the LTTE was able to arrange the purchase of sophisticated lethal weapons, and ammunitions to fight the Sri Lankan armed forces.
The Tamil diaspora’s group spokesperson said that Danuna Tilakaratne quoted 15% over and above the price of the weapons and other military hardware he arranged for purchase by the LTTE through his contacts in Pakistan, China and from a former Soviet country.
As Danuna Tilakaratne was a recognized Sri Lankan Army’s arms dealer, he did not find any problem in arranging the purchase of arms for the LTTE.
Asian Tribune learnt that he possessed letters of accreditation from the Sri Lanka Army stating that he was the accredited agent of the army. That accreditation provided by his father-in-law Army Commander was the required passport for him to purchase arms through his Pakistani middlemen.
It is learnt some of those ships that were bringing the military hardware to the LTTE were owned by the terrorists outfit LTTE, and there was no problem for the lethal cargoes to be delivered in the mid-sea to the LTTE. In the mid-sea LTTE managed to unload them to their boats and safely brought them to Chalai and other safe places.
He said that on two occasions the ships that brought the military hardware had to be reloaded in to the LTTE ships in the international waters.
The Diaspora spokesperson told Asian Tribune that it was the rump LTTE in the West that instructed TNA leader R.Sampanthan and others to openly declare the support to Sarath Fonseka in the Presidential election.
Also it is learnt that the rump LTTE group based in USA has also funded election campaign of Sarath Fonseka.
It was the biggest irony that Sarath Fonseka, who claims that he was responsible for freeing the country from the LTTE menace, is now is in the hands of the very LTTErs and working according to their program to defeat Mahinda Rajapaksa who was responsible for the successful humanitarian operation to free the country from the three decades of the LTTE terror in this country.
Danuna Tilakaratne, who has already seen millions of dollars by the sales of lethal military cargoes, has become addicted to those money he was able amass, and it is learnt that many other terrorists organizations are also in touch with him for acquiring military weapons for their war against established and sovereign governments.
It was unfortunate that Sri Lanka police has so far not come forward to inquire Danuna Tilakaratne regarding his arms dealing.
It is learnt that there was a plan for Danuna Tilakaratne flee the country no sooner the elections results are known......
(Asiantribune.com):
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