Monky Talk

Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions.

The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"

Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"

Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"

Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!

many thanks to HPR Gunawardana

Hell is better than heaven

An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.'

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.
'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'

'Not to worry,' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'

'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'

'You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter. 'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'

'Maybe so,' says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that

Sri Lanka's economy will grow 5.5 percent in 2010

COLOMBO, Feb 10 (Reuters) - Sri Lanka's economy will grow 5.5 percent in 2010 due to improving domestic demand and potential export growth after the 25-year war ended in 2009 and as global recovery takes hold, the IMF said on Wednesday.

However, the International Monetary Fund said there were concerns about the country's fiscal deficit which needed to be addressed.

The $40 billion economy, which was hit by a balance of payment crisis early last year, has already received two tranches of a $2.6 billion IMF loan and the third is due soon.

"We continue to see growth around 5.5 percent in 2010," Koshy Mathai, the IMF director for Sri Lanka, told Reuters in an interview. "The global environment is still not very strong as recovery is slow. On that basis 5.5 percent is a good number."

http://in.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idINSGE6170JW20100210?rpc=401&feedType=RSS&feedName=domesticNews&rpc=401&sp=true

He was challenging the government to arrest him

Retired General Sarath Fonseka is one of those tragic Shakesperean heroes who is doomed to dig his own grave through a fatal flaw in his character. In short, he was virtually asking for what he got last night. He was challenging the government to arrest him if they have any charges against him and when the Military Police went to arrest him he resisted. He had to be dragged out initially though he walked the last steps to the van in which he was taken to quarters at Sri Lankan Navy.

The irony is that Fonseka who was challenging the government to arrest him was reluctant to walk out like a gentlemen and an officer to face his accusers. This is typical of Fonseka. He should have honoured his own words and, knowing the law, cooperated with the Military Police as there was no point in resisting arrest. He may have been ...........
Read more...

http://www.defence.lk/new.asp?fname=20100210_05

Half of the sun to mahinda's son